As I looked at my son, I had this paralyzing realization, I have to teach this boy how to be a man. Both my two year old, and his upcoming brother are going to be looking at me for a model of what a man should be, and that scares the shit out of me.
It made me reflect at the example my father set of manhood. He is a former Marine, turned cop who would spend his free time between church and home projects (building decks, finishing a basement, etc.). Then I looked at myself, and saw chubby accountant who spends his free time blogging between Xbox sessions and porn. This is not the kind of men that I want my boys to become.
It seems the only way to get my boys to be better than me, is for me to become a better man myself. Set the example, and hope the follow suit. It's that realization that makes me wonder how do I pull that off. Because quite frankly, I'm a lazy asshole who has no ambition to change my ways.
I would like to think that I can make that change from sheer will, but let's face it I'm not.
I would like to think that I can make a change so my sons don't grow up to be whiny bitch excuses for men.
I would like to think for that I could...