The birth of my first son was prompted by an exam by my wife's OB, who I affectionally refer to as Dr. Barbie. This twit managed to break my wife's water, while examing her on our lunch hour. She was not contracting, she was hardly dilated, and thanks to this idiot, we had to call out of work and haul ass to the hospital. My wife then got to experience 29 hours of the Pitocin induced labor she always dreamed of. This time, it was a little different.
Birthing by appointment, totally different. We had to be at the hospital at 12:30, so we filled the morning with errands. My wife went out for breakfast, we scheduled a service call for the cable company, and got to spend a little time with my mother. We were then greeted in the hospital by the admitting department, that hit us with the bill, (At least then told us how much beforehand, this time), and went to the prep area.
It was at this point I began my count of doctors. You would think, that being in a hospital, one would see a fair amount of doctors. Apparently, that is a misnomer. I saw registered nurses, nursing students, nurse practitioners, even an anesthesiology nurse, but hardly any doctors. Aside from the private practice doctors, the only one we saw was an anesthesiologist, and he didn't stick around for the procedure.
So after I got over my doctor count obsession, it was time to roll her in. The gave me my doctor get up, and sat me in the "Daddy" chair, while the started to work on my wife. So I sat waited in this "Daddy" chair, which was in front of the doors to the surgical sweets. I sat there staring at those doors, watching the janitorial staff come and go through the restricted areas, and when I had two realizations:
1. That is appears that the lowest paid, least skilled personnel has access to all of the restricted areas
2. and the I was sitting this in time out
It was at this time, the doors swung open and I was escorted to the surgical suite and got to witness the birth of my son. My wonderful son. Who is now crying. As he does every 3 hours. No matter the time of day. Oh God, what did we do.