Parenting Goals

So my newest son is now two weeks old, and i've managed to keep him alive.  I am feeling very accomplished as a father. This got me thinking about my goals as father.

I find the best way in raising my boys is to keep short term, attainable goals:

   

   Goal #1 - Keep the child alive

   Goal #2 - Teach the child how to stay alive

   Goal #3 - Be patient until the child is old enough to tell you what hurts

They may appear silly, but it blends the are easy to accomplish and easy to determine failure.  In addition to these, I do have some long term goals  for my children

   Long Term Goal #1 - Keep them out of prison

   Long Term Goal #2 - Get the out of the house by 22

   Long Term Goal #3 - Get them educated

   Long Term Goal #4 - Prevent them from becoming strippers

Once again the may seem non-sensical, but if I don't meet any of these goals it'll be pretty obvious that I fucked up as a father.