While on a "play date" (God, I hate that phrase), my son and another little boy both wiped out on a tile floor. While my son just got up and shook off the fall, this other little boy stood their crying on the top of his lungs about his boo-boo. So while she may not fully approve of our playtime, she does appreciate that it toughened him up, and prevented him from becoming a whiney bitch like all of the other little boys she know.
Now despite that fact that she may not object to how I play with him, there is still a threshold to her tolerance. And while I'm fully aware of what she deems acceptable, my son is fun, he's fearless and I just can't help myself. So whenever Mommy's goes out and leave us home alone, my son and I like to take it up a notch. Nothing really dangerous, but it is definitely something that might be frowned upon. Not to go into too many details, but it usually involves a helmet (safety first), a wagon, and some interesting paths around the house.
I should have known to not try these things until he was older. Until he was mature enough to keep a secret. Until he could fully comprehend the situation, and the potential consequences of being discovered. All it took was my son coming up to me and my wife one night, holding a helmet, and asking for "MORE!". Before I could even look at her, I could feel her shooting me daggers while she asked me "What were you doing?"
I believe it's moments like this that can test your resolve. You take a moment, analyze the situation, and weigh your options:
- Option A: Come clean - Tell the truth, show her the video you made, point out the fact that he survived, and own up to it like a man.
- Option B - Lie. Lie like the man God made you. Only that requires more thought. Specifically, what kind of lie do you tell?
- Do you go with the dismissive lie? - "I don't know what he means"
- Do you use the believable but unlikely lie? - "I took him for a ride on your bike. Yes your pink bike with the flowery basket"
- The unbelievable, but likely lie? - "Thought I would teach him to ride a bike, and I felt it didn't matter how dark it was"
- The concerned lie? - "I mopped the floor and was afraid he couldn't stay off it, so to be safe..."
- The ballsy redirect lie? - "ME? WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH HIM?!?!?!"
However as I learned, if you've been with someone long enough (and if you take to long to answer) they will know that you're trying to determine which lie to use. She called me on it, I bitched up and was forced to take Option A.
Needless to say my son and I no longer engage in that type of play. But there's always hope for his brother, and maybe that little boy won't narc me out.