Ninety-five percent of the time, my two year old is just the sweetest kid. He is truly the most sincere, affectionate person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. During that time, it is a real honor to say that he is my son. But during that other five percent, he just happens to be the biggest dick I've ever had the displeasure of being stuck in a room with.
Now while I know that's a terrible thing to say about a child, it's really the only adjective I can use to describe that type of person. During that 5%, he does things that makes me think, "If you were a grown man, I'd be hitting you in the face about now". Case in point, we were watching TV when a diaper change became required. When I suggested we walk away from this important program about singing fish, he got up screamed at me and pushed me in the chest with both hands. I'm sorry, but where I come from, that person's a dick.
I've had this child yell at me when he doesn't get his way. DICK! He's flailed is arms when getting pick up against his will, and hit his mother in the face. DICK!! He first response to his father telling his no, was to pick up a plastic golf club and contemplate attack. DICK!!! (Fortunately in the last instance he was smart enough to put the club down immediately after picking it up)
I knew children went through the terrible two's, but I thought it was screaming in public or refusing to eat veggies. But I wasn't prepared for these fits of rage. I wasn't prepared to have a child that can go from "Love You" to "Fuck You" at the drop of a hat. I know the good outweighs the bad by 50 fold, and that these tantrums will not last forever, but come on. He smacks me in the face, and all I do is put him in a corner?
I really wasn't prepared for this...